When children drift away: that silent distance that breaks families without breaking love.
There are silences that don’t hurt immediately. They settle in gently, like a mist that creeps in almost unnoticed. At first, we tell ourselves it’s just life, that everyone is busy, that the children have established their own rhythm, their commitments, their responsibilities. Then, one day, we
realize that the house hasn’t heard their laughter for months, that calls are limited to a few quick messages, and that family gatherings feel more like stopovers than true reunions. Yet, this phenomenon doesn’t stem from a lack of love. It often results from an accumulation of small misalignments, words spoken too quickly, or questions asked with good intentions but perceived as intrusive. The parent-child relationship evolves, and sometimes this evolution creates a distance that was never intentional.
When love changes shape
Contrary to popular belief, adult children almost never distance themselves out of disaffection: they withdraw when something becomes uncomfortable, confusing, or too emotionally charged. It’s not rejection, but a way to breathe. Conversations that were once natural can sometimes become delicate: advice can be perceived as criticism, a concern as doubt. Little by little, everyone avoids what hurts: parents hold back their questions so as not to upset the other, children share less so as not to disappoint. Thus, two worlds that deeply love each other no longer dare to meet with the same spontaneity.
